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I tend to start as a peon and wow my way up. I grew up in my job that I left after a decade. Then I went to where I was the boss of people who I had to learn the business from the ground up AND be responsible for them having the support they needed.
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It was a bumpy ride but I got it under control within a couple months, then a few months to gain their respect and trust! Instead before, everyone trusted me and knew me for years before they needed to take direction from me in the end! Same here! Every job I start, I have a crisis of regret during the first two weeks.
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This is absolutely my experience too. They took her back. That said, I strongly feel you should give it more time than a week. Good luck with what you decide! Maybe the job was a step back in responsibility or something. But if she just got lonely, I think that seems rather off.
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The cynic in me assumes that she told you this sob story to hide the fact that she was using your company to get a raise at the old place. I took a new job and my old job threw so much money at me, I ended up staying another year. But I was honest about it all.
It will take a while to settle. Each place and group of people has different potential. If you really miss your old coworkers, maybe you can continue to see them socially!
Or maybe you need to make new friends outside of work. I made only one friend at my second job, but we are still close years after we both left the company. I think breakups can be like this too — any big life transition. I could have written this letter. The latter makes me a bit sad but I try to remind myself of all the negative aspects of that interaction: the gossip, the completely ineffective people who were universally beloved because they tagged co-workers all day on Facebook, and the fact that the people I got along with could decide to move on if they wanted career advancement somewhere else, leaving me with no big group of work friends and a boring job.
Just that I have to accept being slightly outside of my comfort zone. If I go to someone, notice them on the phone or swamped with work, I scurry away and e-mail. Agree with this. OP left her job for very good reasons. If everything were perfect, she would not have started looking in the first place.
Sometimes I feel like I speak to no one all day. And I have made much more of an effort to set up social activities outside of work, to compensate. I even still hang out with some friends from my old office met one of them for brunch this weekend, in fact!
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Regarding the un social coworkers, definitely give that time. My department has been evolving a lot over the past 6 months, with people changing roles, a revision to the department structure, and multiple new hires. Works well enough. At my last job I got a lot of social interaction from my coworkers.
I miss my coworkers so much! LW, it takes time! I started a new job 5 months ago and I am just starting to feel like I fit in and that the work is right for me. I would meet up with a few old coworkers every weekend for coffee or a drink and it helped assuage my feelings of loneliness. But we have to adapt to change and be flexible. For example, even if I still worked at my last job there are lots of things that would be different now. Met an old coworker for brunch this weekend, and hearing the update about how things have gone since I left over the summer made me very, very glad I bailed.
Sending Jedi hugs, as I have been there. Left a good job because of a toxic director, was so unhappy on my first day of New Job that I called a colleague and just cried. It truly is culture shock. New Job worked out fine, but I felt unmoored for a while.
Feel what you feel, and give it time. Not sure if it has been mentioned yet. But it is a good idea not to align yourself with one group or clique or person right away. All those things are important to consider before being too friendly with people in the office. I already had nerves about starting a new field, but the promise of money and responsibility got me hooked. This is me coming to you one day before my one-year mark :. Also try to keep in mind that we as humans have this desire to call back things that ultimately become a time and not a place.
You want to return to a memory right now. But what you do have can become great- and I hope it does. Both of those were part of your old job; focusing only on the good part is ignoring the downside that came with it. Or are you actually remembering 10 different happy hours over the course of two years?
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And so on. I just saw some old coworkers awhile back. My mind was focused directly on the good memories however. This is one thing I did. That un-friendly-ness lasted a while, but I reminded myself that at my previous job, there had been a long period of feeling really not-welcomed by people, and that it had ended gradually.
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This was my thought as well. OP, you know you had reasons to job search in the first place. Trust the decision that your former self made and know that it was based on real things that were important to you. Hope you settle in soon! Rationally, I know that place was a mess of dysfunction in lots of ways and my new job is really much much better.
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Silver linings! This is so normal! You went from a not ideal, but comfortable, situation, to a brand new one.
All the reasons you changed jobs are changes for you, and have probably not all manifested themselves yet in your day-to-day. You are learning new things, adapting to new people…and change can be uncomfortable. I came here to say the same thing.